Practicing Public Diplomacy

For the aspiring diplomat, it's important to be able to discuss domestic politics to a foreign audience, and to able to convey the importance of foreign policy to a domestic audience. Use the following talking points to practice shaping your conversational savvy:


Communicating Domestic Issues to a Foreign Audience:

• Why do people like Donald Trump? The US is increasingly streamlining its political selection process. Ever since the election and successful presidency of Ronald Reagan, we've learned to safely rely on Hollywood to separate the wheat from the chaff in political races. Reagan, Schwarzenegger, Jesse 'the bod' Ventura--Trump is just the latest in a growing line of celebrities-turned-politicians. Moreso, decision-making is one of the most important traits we look for in a president, and Trump proved he has decision-making skills in spades through Celebrity Apprentice, especially when he picked NeNe over Gary Busey.
  
• Why do people like Sarah Palin and the Tea Party? Americans have always loved women and guns, so a woman who loves guns is a natural fit for us. As to her politics, and the politics of the Tea Party, the ultra-conservative organization was created in the best tradition of American's opposition to the authoritarian nature of conglomerates. After all, the party derives its name from the act of frustrated colonialists who threw the tea of the monopolistic East India Trading Company into Boston Harbor. That's why the grassroots organization wants less commercial regulation and is funded by one of the largest private industries in the world, Koch Industries.
  
• What's up with Guantanamo Bay? We would gladly close Guantanamo Bay if your country would take the remaining hundred or so people left there. Didn't think so.

Explaining Foreign Policy to a Domestic Audience:

• Why is everyone in the world trying to kill us? At any given time, only about 1% of the world is actually trying to obliterate the United States from the face of the earth. However, since fewer than half of all Americans own a passport, it's safe to assume that your only window to the outside world is through the news media, which makes it seem like everyone outside America's borders sure is itching to genocide, rape, and terrorize ol' Uncle Sam. The plain truth is that American's may be shocked to realize just how much the rest of the world doesn't care about us.
  
• What exactly does a Foreign Service do? You know all that cheap stuff in Walmart that's been shipped from overseas? That's all thanks to an Econ Foreign Service Officer. You know how we haven't gone to war with Iran or North Korea or Pakistan yet? You can thank a Political Foreign Service Officer for that. Google and Yahoo! were both founded by immigrants that got into the country through a Consular officer, so next time you log onto Gmail, go ahead and give a shout out to the Consular folks. Overall, we deploy to some pretty nasty places for longer periods than the military does, and we get paid less to do it, but Walmart's low-price guarantee makes it worthwhile.
• We don't want to become sissy like Europe, how can we prevent that? No one wants to become sissy like Europe, what with their healthcare, long vacations and affordable schooling. Our first step to ensuring American prosperity and manliness is to continue spending our money on large, costly wars, and, no matter what, ensuring that we never elect a closet muslim-terrorist socialist as President.